“Living with constantly being upset about what you lost is to waste what you have.”- uncredited quote.
But then again it depends on how deep and wide is your loss.
You can live with the loss just like the way you live with an incurable disease. You keep it under control just with the right amount of medication. But still it reminds you of its presence, its grip tightening sometimes .
But you aren’t wasting what you have . You know that life has to go on.
You go on, with the upset feeling.
Life is still the same. You just become a different you. As you live with an ache which plays hide and seek.
Even saints fall prey to the green eyed beautiful monster and I am not a saint.
I feel jealous of people who can express what is going on in their mind.
When you read them, you feel what they wanted you to feel. They succeed in making you smile, shed tears and sometimes feel embarrassed because they laid their soul bare and you intruded upon that space, sacred or otherwise.
What I only have is this disjointed thoughts which I desperately try to connect. I fail mostly because there are no sequential numbers to guide me.
But as my wise son said once you need to write every single day,even if it is just a sentence.