If I could change back Time

My friend recently asked me why my posts have an underlying note of sadness in them.

Words don’t pour out untill they start choking me. And there is always emotions involved. I have been told that my face mirrors what is in my mind. My smile disappears in the fraction of a second,bringing clouds of irritation , anger, and inner turmoil.

Today I received a parting gift from a friend. It came as a big surprise.

She said that she will miss me and with hugs came unexpected tears.

I love her as my younger sister. We had absolute fun during the times we worked together. Even though circumstances put a certain strain outwardly, deep down I still feel that pull at the chords of my heart . We share the same camaraderie when we talk and work. We always rocked as a team.

I wish I could change back time and put back things where I believe it should be.

But I know that my myopic sight cannot fathom the greater vision of Almighty.

Qué Sera Sera.


The feeling I am left with today is that of betrayal.

I might have betrayed someone today. Someone who loves me so much.

My betrayal was remaining silent.

Not letting her know sooner that I won’t be around ..not at least in the same place as her child would be.

I intend to tell her later. Not that delaying the delivery of unpleasant tidings would make it less so.

I couldn’t muster up the courage because she disarmed me with her first greeting.

“You look so happy and energetic always and it rubs on me”.

I thought that I would let her linger a while longer hoping that she would understand when I explain.

I believe that I have suggested the safest place for her child . He will be nurtured and he will metamorph into a confident kid even if I am not present .

Today I betrayed my girl with my Silence.